Thursday, November 12, 2009 @ 2:38 PM
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I'm not in the damn fucking mood to update.
Thanks a lot . You HELPED me fucking a lot.
First things first.
When the fuck did I ever lied to you?
Why the fuck did you say I lied to you?
Please ley. I even asked you last night at 12am,
Whether you want to come down to find us.
You CLEARLY said that you're tired and you don't want to.
Just because I never say there's parents then you got angry?
This is fucking irrelevant. -_-'. Shit.
8pm I told you that Jason's family was next door?
Since when. Please. I don't have the message.
Neither do you.
If you want to know so much of what's happening at the chalet,
Why don't you let me organise and you be the parent-in-charge next time.
Remember ley, you're the person who didn't allow me to organise.
Just now, I told you I need to be late cause I have to pack up.
Last night I didn't pack up the BBQ.
I was hoping to help out somewhere else.
You just ask me to leave like that.
When I reached home. You asked me why should I do everything.
When the fuck did I do everything?
Maybe, cooking for you, cleaning up the house for you, working for the entire family, washing clothes, babysitting your damn son, trying to satisfied your damn mother-in-law. Or trying to pretend to be the best of the world and you can show off outside that you have a "smart" daughter.
Ya right, damn fuck. Big fuck.
I'm tired of wearing this mask. It's heavy.
It's not me. I want the me. Not the one you make me become.
You obviously you know I will feel damn if I don't do anything.
Why do you purposely say that?
It hit the point where I totally fall.
I can't believe you're the Mum that I can tell people about.
How great you are, how cool, how nice.
But, you just can't understand me.
Stop saying you understand me.
You don't, cause you damn don't.
I respect you so much.
You say I don't.
I listen to you.
I try not to be rebellious.
I know I owe you a lot. I know everything.
You tell me all the times, but, have you known how bad it hurts me?
You know? I breakdown, I cry. Do you know?
You don't. When I cry, you scold even more.
You sleep in the same bedroom as me.
You stay up late, playing my Psp.
I didn't mind. I kept my mouth shut.
But, have you thought that, I can't sleep?
Dammit. I don't have to say all this don't I.
You will never understand me,
Like how your damn husband can't.
Like how your son can't.
Like how your mother-in-law can't.
I talk to people,
Letting them rant.
Few others let me rant on them.
I don't want to have burdens on my shoulders.
It's heavy, I get tired.
I'm feeling super upset now.
It was suppose to be a great chalet trip.
Now it turned out to be a disaster.
Because you didn't find out what was happening exactly.
You just shoot, you're in the wrong and you're still ordering me around.
I don't want.
I don't want to go Lekyou's house to help you pass stuff.
I don't want to hang clothes.
I don't want to mop the floor today.
I want to have a break.
I want to sleep.
I want to rot.
I want to do anything other elses from your orders.
I'm tired of those.
I'm tired.
Really.
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Sorry people.
I'll update about chalet when I'm better.
But, I'm fine. Don't ask me.
Don't pity me.
Just say that I'm trying to act pity to get people's attention.
Cause I don't need attention now.
I'm going to stand up after this fall again.
No tears.
No blood.
No pain.
No more.
